|
August 2006
I am blessed with good health, and experience an active life
style. At my college reunion this summer, I found myself being ashamed of myself
for failing to look youthful, like the Barbie image I mistakenly aspired to.
Barbie was no longer on the pedestal with her dainty little feet, big boobs,
flat stomach, and looking fit and perfect. Barbie now has dry and thin skin,
a few wrinkles, an ever-expanding waistline, chunky legs and trouble hearing
and seeing.
What’s wrong with this picture? Why did I spend the time
and money in order to to look like the ‘old’ me? Why did I frustrate
myself by trying to measure up to society’s standard for beauty?
I recently read several books about the women in the Middle East. By my Western
standards, they appear to be oppressed, and doomed to a life of unhappiness
as they hide under burkas and serve their men. I have been judging them by my
own biased western culture, when actually they are living according to their
own beliefs and may not consider themselves to be oppressed at all. Maybe in
their culture, they’re even beautiful.
In 19th century Chinese culture, young girls endured the painful
procedure of footbinding. It sounds ridiculous to us, but the girls with the
smallest, perfectly deformed 5” feet, were the most beautiful and had
the most status.
According to Lisa See, author of ‘Snow Flower and the
Secret Fan,’ “ It’s easy to equate it (footbinding) with the
horrific practice of female genital mutilation in Africa, the tradition of shrouding
women in burkas in the Middle East, or even the strange, peculiar, often extreme
cosmetic surgery treatments that so many American women seek.”
In 2004, our obsession with physical beauty has led American
women AND men to have 11.9 million surgical and non surgical cosmetic procedures.
Our American obsession with physical beauty and youth sounds
so illogical. Aging of our bodies is part of life, and not every young girl
is genetically programmed to look like a teenaged rock star. What an amazing
amount of pressure that puts on most of us, to reach an ideal that only a few
will reach. We set ourselves up for failure by trying to fit into a definition
of beauty that is attainable by only a few – and doesn’t accommodate
the aging process.
I can't help but think that that we, as a culture, should
value the person, not the persona - that what is inside each of us is where
our real worth is – that what we value, how we behave, how we connect
to others, and what we contribute to our world is how we should be judged above
all else.
Now, if I only could stop judging myself.
COMING SOON
Getting Things Done – Successful Women Speak
I’m a contributing author in this new book coming
Out next week. It will be available on my web site.
Cheryl Perlitz is the author of the inspirational
book "Soaring Through Setbacks - Rise above adversity - Reclaim
your life" and “Soaring through Setbacks….Survival
Tips Handbook’
As a dynamic speaker
and facilitator, her inspiring, fun and motivational stories
help listeners and readers to "TRANSFORM THEIR MOUNTAINS INTO
OPPORTUNITIES FOR ADVENTURE AND POSITIVE CHANGE."
Cheryl is not a therapist, or medical doctor. She
does not have a PHD or an advanced degree in psychological theory.
She is a regular person, like most of us. She is a sought after
talk show guest because of her easy casual style, her ability to
tell wonderful stories that the listeners and readers can relate
to, and her understanding and compassion for others.
|
