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July 2006
On the day that I first pondered this July newsletter, I had
CNN News running as the white noise on my office TV. Need I say more! The news
was filled with bombs, rockets, soldiers and bodies – visions of the intensified
hostilities in the Middle East. What a helpless feeling to know that the Israelis
and Hezbollah have arrived at an impasse and can only speak to each other from
the barrels of guns and katyusha rockets. For them, rational communication is
impossible.
Sitting on my desk was USA Today. The feature story in the Life section was
about Amma, the Indian mystic, better known as ‘the hugging saint’.
Millions come to her and wait in line for hours to receive a hug, a personal
word of encouragement and a small personal token, like a rose petal or a candy
kiss. Everyone writes a question on a small piece of paper and Amma whispers
an answer as she gently hugs each person. 27 million people have found connection,
acceptance and unconditional love from Amma, no matter where they are from or
what their religion. With each hug, she is sowing seeds of peace and love.
As I look at these two opposing stories I can’t help but think of what
we can learn from both of them. Perhaps the messages are very much the same:
*Our world is crying for connection. We all need to be heard – to be
loved, accepted and appreciated. Reaching out to others starts with us.
*Although we are all different, our biggest challenge is to put those differences
aside and accept others no matter how different they are. To practice unconditional
acceptance we need to avoid judging others just because they are different,
have different values, beliefs, and life styles.
*Hate begets hate, and love begets love. Once the cycle begins, it is very
hard to stop those strong emotions from intensifying and feeding on themselves.
A group or individual from outside can interrupt that cycle by introducing solutions,
a voice of reason, new perspective and hope. Most of us can not affect the cycle
of hate in the Middle East, but we can be instruments of peace by encouraging
acceptance of others in our own back yards.
*Our world has become so competitive: to have the most, be the richest, be
the best, look the best, be the smartest. If we look at everyone as competition
instead of partners, we separate ourselves. There is strength in partnering,
cooperating and using our individual uniquenesses to form a powerful team.
*Speak for yourself. Don’t let technology speak for you. When we lose
ourselves in computers, ipods, video games and televisions, we lose human contact.
Talk face to face, look at body language, make eye contact, speak honestly,
and connect with your heart. Play games, have discussions, do things together,
take walks, enjoy nature, and exercise together.
*They say we need 8 hugs a day to be emotionally healthy – give them
freely, accept them whenever you can for optimum emotional health. This will
help you and your family, friends and strangers to feel accepted and connected.
*Give to others whenever you can. Acts of kindness done for others help ourselves
even more than those we are serving. Sew seeds of friendship, compassion, and
unconditional acceptance to everyone without judgment. Our world would be more
peaceful and harmonious if all of us did.
Although we feel helpless watching the war in the Middle East remember the
lessons of Amma, the Indian mystic. There is something we can do to change our
own world just a little. We can change the cycles in our own part of the world
by connecting with others, accepting everyone no matter how different they are,
giving to others unconditionally, making our own relationships more meaningful
and hugging – 8 times a day.
Cheryl Perlitz is the author of the inspirational
book "Soaring Through Setbacks - Rise above adversity - Reclaim
your life" and “Soaring through Setbacks….Survival
Tips Handbook’
As a dynamic speaker
and facilitator, her inspiring, fun and motivational stories
help listeners and readers to "TRANSFORM THEIR MOUNTAINS INTO
OPPORTUNITIES FOR ADVENTURE AND POSITIVE CHANGE."
Cheryl is not a therapist, or medical doctor. She
does not have a PHD or an advanced degree in psychological theory.
She is a regular person, like most of us. She is a sought after
talk show guest because of her easy casual style, her ability to
tell wonderful stories that the listeners and readers can relate
to, and her understanding and compassion for others.
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