Explosions of rage are a result of accumulated pressure or stress in many different parts of our lives. To control that stress, we must first identify it, and then adopt some simple tools to deal with it.

In the self assessment below, we have divided life into categories, as determined by the life coaching federation ‘wheel of life’. Each category has a list of some potential issues that lead to stress in that area. After you have reviewed these stressors, give yourself a stress level score for that category.

Following your self assessment are some suggestions for ways to alleviate those stresses.

Are you experiencing a major loss?

Death of a family member or good friend
Divorce
Loss of a job
Serious health issues
Major life style change

If you are experiencing any major loss, your stress level is high and will affect EVERY part of your life. As you go through transition, you experience an uncontrollable roller coaster of emotion, to regain your balance. Taking care of yourself and your level of stress is of prime importance here. Please review suggestions below.

Rank yourself on a scale of 0 to 5 (5 being the most stress):

CAREER

012345

___ Threat of promotion/demotion
___ Not feeling appreciated
___ Not feeling challenged or feeling too challenged
___ Not feeling that your work matters
___ Working too many hours – burn out
___ Having communication problems with coworkers or boss
___ Working in unsatisfactory conditions
___ Feeling that your job is threatened
___ Feeling uncomfortable in your position
___ Not enjoying the job

HEALTH

012345

___ Illness
___ Not sleeping enough
___ Eating too much
___ Not eating enough
___ Not eating nutritiously
___ Not exercising regularly
___ Not relaxing enough
___ Not taking the time to monitor health
___ Not taking time to breath deeply

SIGNIFICANT OTHER / ROMANCE

012345

___ Feelings of loneliness
___ Feelings of dissatisfaction sexually
___ Communication problems with significant other
___ Not enough time nurturing relationship

FINANCIAL

012345

___ Having trouble paying bills
___ Income too low for life style
___ Expenses too high
___ Too much debt
___ Loss of investments
___ Property expenses too high

PERSONAL GROWTH

012345

___ Not enough time to nurture yourself and relax
___ Not reading
___ Too much time at the television / computer
___ Not open to learning
___ Not nurturing spiritual life

PHYSICAL ENVIRONMENT

012345

___ Too much clutter
___ Not enough room
___ Not keeping up with laundry, bills, home responsibilities
___ Cant afford to have the living space you wish

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

012345

___ Trouble in communication with children and spouse
___ Not enough quality time spent with family
___ Not sharing openly/honestly with friends and family
___ Not putting family first
___ Not communicating regularly with friends
___ Not living in the moment or being present with family/friends

FUN AND RECREATION

012345

___ Not taking chunks of time for physical/ intellectual/
physical breaks
___ Not having fun
___ Not appreciating nature
___ Not exercising for fun and companionship

If you scored 4 or above in any of the above categories, you are under stress that may affect your behavior and ability to deal with added stress.

It is my suggestion that you look at these numbers in each category and attempt to create a “Stress Survival Environment”, so that when stressful situations arise (and they always do), you will have an easier time coping with that stress and adjusting your life to handle it.

• Take a look at your attitude:
› redirecting negatives into positives helps you to see possibilities of growth in tough times
› use affirmations, seeing your self positively in the face of negative
› don’t let yourself wallow in self pity

• Simplify:
› don’t say “yes” to anything, especially if you REALLY want to say “no”
› remove clutter, clean out closets, files...etc.
› get organized so life is simpler and healthier, and so when things get stressful you can adjust easily, but be open for flexibility
› get rid of poisonous friends/relationships
› try to take things one step at a time and only live in the ‘now’

• Allow time for yourself
› get a massage
› practice deep breathing and meditation
› draw and soak in a hot aromatic bath
› journal daily and with no intention of looking back and judging
› read and improve your mind

• Do some fun things and nurture yourself with special treats:
› see friends
› build short breaks into your daily routine
› go to the movies
› go out for breakfast so someone else is waiting on you
› surround yourself with flowers
› don’t put off doing something special for yourself

• Being physically fit creates emotional fitness:
› set up a regular exercise/ workout schedule
› eat nutritionally
› move….aerobics, weight lifting, swimming - variety will keep things interesting
› eat smart & take vitamins, we are most vulnerable to disease when we’re under stress
› keep moving

• Share good-will for others, even if you don’t have time, make the time:
› it puts life in perspective
› takes the focus away from yourself
› makes you feel good about yourself